As I write this today, I’m sitting in Panera Bread in Watuaga, TX. It’s been almost four months since our last update and as you know, so much as changed. It has taken me this long to write again partly because most of February I was not feeling well and partly because our world was turned inside out in March, I haven’t known how to express everything that has happened!
Looking back, I can see how God’s hand was on us throughout the past few years. While I don’t know the why behind everything, I’m grateful I didn’t know God’s exact plan, but I am grateful He was guiding us through each day, one at a time.
In my last #BringingBabyPorterHome update, while sharing about our progress with becoming foster parents, I wrote this...
“But I know every second a call doesn’t come is a second the right baby is being prepared for us.”
I would have never believed the very moment I was typing that, my body was 4 weeks in the making of our little miracle. I could "ugly cry" right here just thinking about it, but it would cause a scene for my fellow breakfast eaters. God’s timing is perfect. I knew that intellectually before but now... I KNOW it.
Many of you haven’t heard how all of this unfolded for Jay and I so I will try to share the cliff notes version...
In January 2010 Jay and I decided to start our family. After a year of trying, we were transferred to an infertility specialist for testing. Thus began our journey of #BringingBabyPorterHome through fostering and/or IVF.
Meanwhile, in January 2012, Jay shared with me he felt God was stirring in his heart that He may be calling us somewhere else. I would love to say I jumped on board and was ready to follow God where he would lead, but it was a very slow and gradual process for me. Jay was very patient. I spent most of 2012 coming to grips with the fact that my life was not my own. But walking away from CCA one day meant leaving our very best friends and family, our church family, a great job that we loved, and a town and house we had come to greatly enjoy. By the end of the year, I started to feel the drawing as well. We had the unique privilege of being able to share this openly with Pastor Mark and Tina without fear of loosing our jobs. They prayed with us and agreed to help us through our journey.
It wasn’t until January 2014, we felt release to pursue a job. But we knew if we received a foster placement, we would not be able to move from Florida. Jay promised if we had a foster child before we got a job, we would stay until we had direction about the adoption potential of the child. As you know, that call never came.
The end of February we did get a call, but it wasn’t for a placement. It was for an interview for LifeChurch.tv. The next few days was full of online testing and phone calls. It was a Monday when we found out the interview weekend would take place the following weekend in Oklahoma City. I was in bed with what I thought was the flu, when Jay shared with me we would be flying out in less than 2 weeks to interview. I was devastated at first because I knew if we got this job, we would be starting over with the fostering process in TX. I felt like we were so close to getting a placement here and we were going to walk away from that.
Once again, I was reminded, my life is not my own.
The Monday before we flew out for our interview, still feeling flu-like, I decided to take a pregnancy test. I honestly had no hopes of it being positive; they never have been in the past. I woke up at 5:30 am with Jay and took it. Well, it was positive. I always expected that moment would have involved shouting and jumping and maybe even confetti being released from the heavens, but it didn’t. I guess it was shock. I told Jay. We hugged. I got back in bed and just stared out the window forever. I could not believe it was positive and the very week we could find out God was opening a door for us to move to TX. The timing was overwhelmingly perfect.
That day is when my morning sickness started... I think Emma had good timing on that one.
We flew out to OKC a few days later for our interview weekend and on Monday they offered us the job. Three weeks later Jay left for Texas as I stayed behind to wrap up some things at home, at CCA, and to help my mom through her knee surgery. I packed up our home, actually more like watched our home being packed up by the movers, and joined Jay in Texas on May 1st. Our house was only on the market three weeks and we got a great offer which closed the end of May.
It has been a whirlwind the past few months. I was reading through my prayer journal for Baby Porter today and saw in January where I wrote about visiting some friends in the hospital who had just had a baby.
““New Beginnings”- that sign hit my in the face as we got off the elevators on the 3rd floor last night at the hospital. Sometimes it feels we will never have that moment... I trust you Father, I do. Sometimes it’s just so in your face though I can’t escape it.
I will praise the Lord at all times. I will constantly speak His praises. Come let us tell of the Lord’s greatness; let us exalt His name together! Psalm 34:1,3
Thank you for whatever you are doing with us. Help me to know it and use it.”
God changed our story and gave us our New Beginning in just a moment. I’m so grateful He didn’t answer them on my schedule but in His unbelievably perfect timing. Jay and I are thrilled about starting our new journey in Texas and our lil' Emma joining us very soon!
For those of you still praying to bring your baby home, I know I’ve joined the running list of people in your mind whose dreams have come true while yours are still painfully unanswered. We pray for you often, you all are still heavy on our hearts. God has your specific moment laid before you. He knows the details and how it will all come to be. Trust that, trust Him, and worship while you wait. The Lord our God is ever faithful. He will see you through till the end.